Current Status: I Am Not Ok

[Per some strong recommendations years ago (Erin, Shelly) I was finally going to make my first video, but I couldn't even get through typing this without sobbing.]

Current status: I am not ok.

I am angry. I am VERY angry. I am pretty certain I'm angrier than I have ever been in my life (and in case you don't know, that's saying something).
In fact, this young woman expresses very well how I and so many others are feeling.

I have lived this my whole life.
My dad lived this his whole life (and my mom by his side).
And now MY KIDS ARE STARTING TO LIVE IT!
 - I recently had to have "The Talk," in fact. You either know how this feels or you don't.
I am angry at myself for how long I've stuffed it all!
And I am angry at all those who have made me feel like I had to.

I am hurt. I am VERY hurt.
I am hurt by all the painful memories of my experiences with racism.
I am hurt by all the painful memories of my friends' experiences with racism.
I am hurt by all the times my other friends did nothing...or worse.
I am hurt by all my friends ("friends?") who are doing/saying nothing EVEN NOW!
And I am hurt by all my "friends" who apparently can only condemn riots.

PSA Time: 

“We must take sides. Neutrality helps the oppressor, never the victim. Silence encourages the tormentor, never the tormented. Sometimes we must interfere. When human lives are endangered, when human dignity is in jeopardy, national borders and sensitivities become irrelevant. Wherever men and women are persecuted because of their race, religion, or political views, that place must - at that moment - become the center of the universe.”
- Elie Wiesel

• If you think that just not being the guy who murdered someone is enough, you are wrong.
• If you think that all we need to do is pray, "make disciples," and get along, your understanding of God's heart and Jesus' time on Earth is woefully inadequate and shallow.
• If you just want to keep stating that not all cops are bad, don't bother: I agree. The thing is, we're not hating or trying to spread hate. (Some may be, but someone's ALWAYS doing that about something.) What we want is for people to understand how saying "not all cops are bad" is not just useless (because we're not stupid), but harmful because it comes across as not listening, which translates to not caring. Also, defending the police with "a few bad apples" while condemning an entire movement based on a handful of incidents of graffiti and vandalism is a gross and obvious double standard. Please watch this and dig deeper.
• If you only want to argue that all lives matter, please read this and dig deeper.
• If you or someone you love hasn't lived it and you are not even willing to TRY to understand, and/or if any of this offends you, you are part of the problem. Seek to understand respectfully or just be quiet.

And yes, I shall now even get political: Do you still support Trump even after how he has handled all of this?!

If you want to "disagree with me" on these things, I will not be discussing anything with you unless and until you have *at the very least* watched these two videos, in their entirety, actually paying attention (and I will test you):

• 13th (also available on Netflix)
• Full of Grace & Truth (if you call yourself a Christian, though it's good for everyone 😉)

I am still very much processing. I do not have all the answers. One thing I think I can say with confidence, though, is: We have had enough, and we are not going away.