Why I Left My Church of 30 Years

As is almost always the case in situations like this, there are multiple reasons.

First, it's very much the same people doing the same things in the same ways as they have for the last 40 years. There is a soul-numbing lack of depth.

Second, they use the language of "family" but they are not. It is Corporate America dressed up as a church. Have genuine friendships developed? Of course. But "coworkers" is a better comparison when looking at the bigger picture:

• People sit in the same place, with the same people, having the same conversations. 
• You matter if you contribute to their bottom line, and you do not if you don't.
• There is a clear "org chart" hierarchy delineating who matters more.
• Questioning leadership will almost certainly not end well for you.

(Their bottom line, though irrefutably intertwined, is not primarily financial; it is growing the church. And while God obviously wants everyone to be with Him in the end (2 Peter 3:9), they mistake God's Prime Directive for theirs. We are called to love Him and each other increasingly well (Mark 12:28-31) and let Him make the fruit grow (1 Cor 3:7). It's almost as if they actually believe He needs our help!)

But for many of us (yes, many of us), the final reason goes much deeper. It is about hurt and harm that has come from abuse, justified by their focus on "the mission," and swept under the rug. Hopefully I can be sensitive to friends and others who have lived this literally(!), but it seems very much like finally admitting you are married to a racist, sexist, abusive narcissist, and you just can't do it any more. In fact, you should not.

I hear some say we should fight to keep the world/local culture from creeping into the church; more and more are realizing it started to do that a long time ago. We have historically prided ourselves on being diverse and not like the world; however, while our membership has been diverse, our leadership and culture have been (and largely continue to be) White, conservative American patriarchy. Again, Corporate America dressed up as a church.

The real problem, though, is that most seem okay staying on this path and definitely NOT okay with owning our mistakes and harm and truly working toward healing and real growth.

And this is why I (and yes, again, so many others) have left / are leaving / will leave.

Baptism

Few doctrines have been and still are as contentious among Christians as baptism.

• Immersion or sprinkling?
• Necessary or optional?
• Work or obedience?

"Unfortunately, the proper role of baptism in conversion has been lost to most of the Christian world since the early 400s."

God's plan of salvation is not complicated, but it is ordered (which makes sense, as He is a God of order). Think of it like making a cake: all the right ingredients, no wrong ingredients, added in order, and then baked in the oven. Baptism is like the baking part. :)

In short: Full-immersion water baptism is a vital part of God's plan of salvation; it is, in fact, the point at which we (1) participate in Christ's death, burial, and resurrection; (2) receive the promised Holy Spirit who indwells us; and, (3) receive the forgiveness of our sins.

And that's just the beginning! I personally found the book, Born of Water, incredibly helpful in understanding baptism. 

Here are some more resources for those who want to go even deeper:

• What the Bible teaches about baptism
• Baptism in the New Testament
• Baptism: The Believer's Wedding Ceremony
• Down in the River to Pray
• Martin Luther on "faith alone"

My hope and prayer are that we can all come back fully to God's will regarding this holy and beautiful practice!

We Need Help!

1. Buy a cheap Bible.

2. Tear out everything that is God using one or a few of His people to try to get through to the rest (most if not all of the Prophets, Epistles, Gospels(!), and surprisingly so much more) as opposed to those "outside," and see how much of the Bible is left.

3. SIT WITH THIS for as long as it takes to get that if your "faith" and/or church focuses on outward, quantifiable forms of "productivity" (e.g., evangelism) something is wrong! (Extra credit: watch this video that delves more deeply into this particular focus.)

4. Keep this Bible as an ever-present reminder of what God actually wants us to focus on (Matthew 22:36-40, Matthew 7:12).

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What about today? Is there something -- a recurring theme that keeps coming up -- that God may be trying to get through to the many via the few?

God's plan for His church today is the same as it was back in the Old Testament. He put the Israelites in the "crossroads" of their day so that all nations could be exposed to what it's like to truly live and walk with Him. This plan, however, is predicated on His people actually loving Him and each other truly, as He defines love. We obviously need all the help we can get with this; hence, the challenge exercise above.

In fact, if we're being totally honest, we in the "American Church" have failed miserably at this...and we will have to answer for it. Or what else do you think Jesus was trying to warn us about in Matthew 7:21-23?

“Not everyone who says to me, ‘Lord, Lord,’ will enter the kingdom of heaven, but only the one who does the will of my Father who is in heaven. Many will say to me on that day, ‘Lord, Lord, did we not prophesy in your name and in your name drive out demons and in your name perform many miracles?’ Then I will tell them plainly, ‘I never knew you. Away from me, you evildoers!’"

For my first two or so years as a follower of Jesus, I wholeheartedly believed that this applied to "others" (i.e., those outside my church). Ever since the day I realized that this applies to EVERYONE I have considered this the scariest passage in the entire Bible. ("scary" as in sobering in a terrifying way 😁)

Notice that Jesus does not contradict them; He does not say, "No you did not do those things." Instead, Jesus is straight up warning us that we can literally check all our religion's/church's little boxes and still go to Hell!

And in warning us, He (1) literally contrasts God's actual will with our little boxes(!) and (2) boils it all down so simply to not truly knowing us.

Please join me in praying (and fighting) for our hearts (Proverbs 4:23), our lampstands (Revelation 2:5), and both our and our hearers' souls (1 Timothy 4:16).

Life Now

As we approach the end of 2022, what I refer to as our Blip seems largely like a memory to most. Not for me, though. I have realized lately that I am like someone who has been forever changed by, and cannot move past, a recent abuse. Over the past few years I have expected much I did not see or receive and have seen/received much I never would have expected, and it has changed me. I have been processing something that is just now starting to crystalize.

As a person of color living in America, I haven't truly felt safe since college. Unlike many people of color, however, I've never been part of a community where I did feel safe, especially to discuss such things. I have, over the past few decades, been part of a community where (I realize now) I told myself I was safe; not to discuss such things of course, but at least safe from overt attacks. I no longer have even this "refuge," as I no longer feel safe even there.

I've also realized a fundamental change in how I see America; I see two types of people. There are those who, frankly, want essentially what Hitler wanted, and then there's everyone else. The first group either forgets or denies the true origins and history of this "great" nation and seems to honestly believe a slew of things that would be laughable if they weren't all so dangerous. Oh, and I happen to live in the part of my city that is populated mostly by people in this group.

(The benefit-of-the-doubt part of me still wants to defend some of these folks, telling myself that they are "just blissfully ignorant and are only thinking about the financial side of things, especially for themselves; and, while this is certainly still grotesquely self-centered, it's not really hate and $&^%$# supremacy, right?!" This excuse doesn't really work any more, though.)

My wife has been watching "The Watcher" and today I saw some of episode two. There is a scene where Naomi Watts' character talks about how angry she is at what's happening to them, saying, "Is that what we should be telling our kids? That if somebody terrorizes us we just let them?" I choked on and nearly spit out my soup...and then said, "Welcome to Black America, sister!" I wasn't trying to be funny.

But of course it's not just Black America; it's Everyone-but-one-specific-demographic (or their cohorts and wannabes) America. My wife just finished watching "The US and the Holocaust" on PBS and I was in the room for the last 30 minutes of the last episode. It ended an hour ago and I have been crying or trying not to cry since. It is the definition of "profound" in what it conveys and how. It's not easy to watch, but I recommend it to everyone. Trust me, it's not just what you've seen or heard before!

Anyway...I find it cathartic to write out what I'm feeling, to share it, and to receive encouragement from the few who will send some. (Thank you in advance, by the way!! I pretty much know who you are at this point lol, and it means more than you probably realize.) I'm done now, though. Back to processing, navigating, and figuring out where to go from here and how to get there....

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The Westernization Of God

Do you believe the Gospel of Jesus Christ...or the Gospel of The West?

There are things I have believed my entire Christian life which simply are not true. Below are just a few of them.

Vision

Without vision, the people perish....

 - Proverbs 29:18

This passage has been used for decades to support the concept that God calls us to dream for Him and have dreams for our own lives. He does not. This is a Western concept, not at all what God had in mind. The word translated here as "vision" actually refers to divine revelation; in other words, without hearing from God (e.g., the Bible for us today), the people perish.

Hopes and goals are great. Set grounded goals and faithfully go after them, for God's glory. If, though, you insist on "having a dream for your life," you just don't get to get upset with God or lose faith if it doesn't work out. You have no Biblical guarantees of dreams coming true regarding relationships, career, where you live, or anything else earthly.

(Fortunately, in this case, even the NIV has recently been updated to reflect a more accurate translation: "Where there is no revelation, people cast off restraint; but blessed is the one who heeds wisdom’s instruction.")

My Thoughts Are Not Your Thoughts

“For my thoughts are not your thoughts,

    neither are your ways my ways,”

declares the Lord.

 - Isaiah 55:8

This passage is used so often to convey things like, "well, there's no telling why this is happening in my/your life, cuz you know, God's ways aren't our ways." That is not what it's about. Contextually, God is explaining why He will have mercy on those who turn back to Him, as opposed to the typical human ways of not showing mercy or having grace.

Can this be applied more broadly? Possibly. We need to be cautious (!), though, when trying to use Scripture for something other than its original intent.

Plans For Your Future

"For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the Lord, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future."

 - Jeremiah 29:11

Oh boy. So, some promises are universal (all followers for all time) and some are for the specific audience at that time. Unfortunately, this is one of the latter. God makes other promises for all of us that could, maybe be argued to amount to this to some degree, but quite simply we have no Biblical guarantees of earthly prosperity, ease, or anything else of that nature.

Turning The Other Cheek

But I tell you, do not resist an evil person. If anyone slaps you on the right cheek, turn to them the other cheek also.

- Matthew 5:39

Used to teach people that we should not resist, physically or otherwise, when someone is trying to hurt or harm us, this is not at all what the original hearers took from it. In that culture, there is a big difference between your right and left hands. One is used for all things clean, the other for the unclean. If someone struck you, they were obviously in the wrong, regardless of station or status. Forcing them to strike you a second time with the unclean hand by turning your head, though, put them on display in a far more humiliating and taboo way.

Where You Live

From one man he made all the people of the world. Now they live all over the earth. He decided exactly when they should live. And he decided exactly where they should live.

 - Acts 17:26

This has been used to teach that God chooses where we live (i.e., exact address) and when. It actually refers to the times and places God determined for entire peoples, i.e., cultures and nations throughout history. Fortunately, this translation too has been updated: From one man he made all the nations, that they should inhabit the whole earth; and he marked out their appointed times in history and the boundaries of their lands.

Nationalism/Patriotism

"God bless America."

Yeah, no. Jesus/God is apolitical, at best. God loves, works for, and fights for America no more than He does any other temporary human organization. We are not His people any more than anyone else (the Hebrews were for a while, but we never were). You literally cannot serve both "God and country" (same as Money); one must come first.

"Conclusion"

All I have attempted to do here is present the truth (these are just some examples) with some suggested places to start digging (below). I do this, and in this way, for three reasons:

1. By misunderstanding, misusing, and misrepresenting the word of God, we set ourselves and others up for possibly years of frustration and wasted time;
2. Once you fully embrace the fact that the Scriptures were written to a vastly different audience and culture and that this matters, you begin a journey of discovery and re-discovery that brings them to life more than ever before; and,
3. I am in no way qualified to try to lead you on this journey.

I pray you take the challenge and dig deep. I pray too that you find the same joy, depth, and new life that I have only begun to find!

Resources:

• https://www.bemadiscipleship.com/-1
• https://www.douglasjacoby.com/
• https://www.malcolmcox.org/
• https://www.thattheworldmayknow.com/about
• https://www.athensinstitute.org/

I Have Decided

 And when it was evening, he came with the twelve. And as they were reclining at table and eating, Jesus said, “Truly, I say to you, one of you will betray me, one who is eating with me.” They began to be sorrowful and to say to him one after another, “Is it I?”
 - Mark 14:17-19

Jesus loved Judas so well that even after living together for three years, none of his other disciples even had a hint that it was Judas who would betray Him!

What is the hardest part and truest test of being a follower of Jesus? I think it may just be choosing, as often as needed(!), to fight the good fight to love people the way Jesus loved Judas.

This does not always mean striving to maintain friendships; after all, Jesus had his 12 but He also had his three, and Judas was not part of the three (Peter, James, and John). This does mean loving sincerely and deeply from the heart (1 Peter 1:22), even if it can only be from a distance (Romans 12:18).

I decided to follow Jesus almost 30 years ago, and these past 2.5 have easily been the hardest. But I'm sticking with my decision, no matter what. I have decided, again...and I will keep on deciding!

I mean...in view of His life, love, example, and sacrifice, how could I not?!

Help Me Understand Please

 

We have lived with rules like this for decades. Why, now that society at large has decided to trust science and accurately teach history, are we suddenly hearing cries of losing our rights and freedoms?

Is it because you don't like or agree with the new rules?

Is that what makes something unconstitutional?

Some might call that ignorant.

Some might call that patriotic.

Some might call that privilege.

What do you call it?