I'm noticing lately how often I hear a Christian say something like, "any day above ground is a good one." (Maybe this has something to do with how my peers and I just keep getting older ;).) I find this strange, though. Shouldn't we, more than anyone else, be looking forward to death? I mean, I am obviously well acquainted with the sadness that follows death on the parts of those who are still alive; but, even Paul knew which was better:
For to me, to live is Christ and to die is gain. If I am to go on living in the body, this will mean fruitful labor for me. Yet what shall I choose? I do not know! I am torn between the two: I desire to depart and be with Christ, which is better by far; but it is more necessary for you that I remain in the body.
- Philippians 1:21-24
I can most relate to Paul's torn feelings when I think of my wife and kids. I realized lately how completely paralyzed by fear I have been for quite some time (well, over seven years, actually). With my dad's death when I was young, to the sudden death of a man I pretty much regarded as the perfect example of a Christian, husband, father, and friend, I have found myself terrified of "leaving my children" before they're ready.
As a wise man and friend recently pointed out, however, we are never ready for our parents to die! I should know: my mom's death four months ago really has not been any easier on me than my dad's 25 years ago. That's where my faith in God needs to come in.
Do I believe that God meets our needs? Do I believe that God gives us what we need when we need it? Do I believe that God knows best, and that His timing is perfect? Can I, therefore, conclude that I will be around as long as my kids need me to be; and that, whenever I die, at some level it is because they no longer need me?
And can I find peace in this?
I can. I must. I will.
As for whether I personally am glad to be alive...well, the logical conclusion to all this is that someone must actually still need me (a very odd concept, indeed!); so, as long as I am needed, then I guess I'm glad to be alive. :)
For to me, to live is Christ and to die is gain. If I am to go on living in the body, this will mean fruitful labor for me. Yet what shall I choose? I do not know! I am torn between the two: I desire to depart and be with Christ, which is better by far; but it is more necessary for you that I remain in the body.
- Philippians 1:21-24
I can most relate to Paul's torn feelings when I think of my wife and kids. I realized lately how completely paralyzed by fear I have been for quite some time (well, over seven years, actually). With my dad's death when I was young, to the sudden death of a man I pretty much regarded as the perfect example of a Christian, husband, father, and friend, I have found myself terrified of "leaving my children" before they're ready.
As a wise man and friend recently pointed out, however, we are never ready for our parents to die! I should know: my mom's death four months ago really has not been any easier on me than my dad's 25 years ago. That's where my faith in God needs to come in.
Do I believe that God meets our needs? Do I believe that God gives us what we need when we need it? Do I believe that God knows best, and that His timing is perfect? Can I, therefore, conclude that I will be around as long as my kids need me to be; and that, whenever I die, at some level it is because they no longer need me?
And can I find peace in this?
I can. I must. I will.
As for whether I personally am glad to be alive...well, the logical conclusion to all this is that someone must actually still need me (a very odd concept, indeed!); so, as long as I am needed, then I guess I'm glad to be alive. :)
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