Violence Bad

I'd like to address the "I'm all for peaceful protests, but the violence is just wrong" posts. Like I've expressed before:

• Condemning violence right now is akin to saying all lives matter; you're not wrong, but you are totally missing the point.
• Defending the police with "a few bad apples" while condemning an entire movement based on a handful of incidents of graffiti and vandalism is a blatant and grotesque double standard.

Frankly, still being in this camp is a clear indication that you still don't get it. And at this point, that conveys that you aren't listening. And this translates into you don't care. I know, I know, but let me try to explain, one last time.

See, I too don't like the violence and hope it stops soon (especially for the "mom and pops" that don't have millions in insurance). Read that sentence again. At the same time though, I actually do understand, which keeps me from generically, publicly condemning the violence. So here goes...one last "public" try on my part. Because let's face it, folks who still "don't get it" at this point have their own issues. It's not from a lack of explanation.

Let's dive right in, shall we? Watch the whole video.

Now, can you FEEL what she is feeling? If you can't, guess what.

Can you UNDERSTAND that this is what millions of us are feeling?!

Don't preach, lecture, or tell Black folks how to behave, not even in the name of Jesus (Who, again, fashioned a whip, flipped over tables, and irrefutably does care about justice).

Listen! Empathize!! TRY TO UNDERSTAND!!!

I would like to humbly make a suggestion. What if, instead of posting opinions on social media and elsewhere that will be liked by those just like you and not liked by everyone else -- it's not helping anyway! -- you start a private conversation with one person in your life who is "on the other side" of things and whom you call friend?  (Yes, I am doing this myself.)

If you don't have anyone like this in your life, well then Karen, maybe...try to make some new friends...?

Finally, know that refusal to even try this suggestion shows your true colors more loudly and clearly than any post or comment ever could. And yes, everyone is still watching.

Well that's it. On to more fruitful endeavors. I sincerely hope this prompts even one more person to start digging deeper.

Violence Bad - Redirect

I had to re-create this post, here.

How Do We Get There From Here?

Among Your Personal Relationships:

Share your story.

 - Joshua 1:9, Proverbs 17:17

Listen! Acknowledge. Own.
 - Proverbs 18:2, James 1:19, 1 Corinthians 12:26

Forgive. Extend grace!
 - Matthew 6:14-15

Never stop calling it out.
 - Ezekiel 16:49, Isaiah 58:6, Galatians 6:2

Be ready to make the tough choice.
 - Matthew 7:6, Matthew 10:14


Beyond:
All of the above as appropriate.

Neither forget nor underestimate the power of your vote and your dollar.

Take action!


We will all be at different places with regard to these steps, and many of us more than one and at different times.

Doing this work will not be pretty or comfortable, but it must be done. And you must do your own work; no one else can (or should) do it for you. If you can Google...anything, you can do this work; there are countless resources available (see below for just a few). Don't let the "fatigue" stop you. And of course, we who do will be glad we did...and our children even more so!

Resources to get you started:

• Monuments and Flags
• 13th
• Full of Grace & Truth

Current Status: I Am Not Ok

[Per some strong recommendations years ago (Erin, Shelly) I was finally going to make my first video, but I couldn't even get through typing this without sobbing.]

Current status: I am not ok.

I am angry. I am VERY angry. I am pretty certain I'm angrier than I have ever been in my life (and in case you don't know, that's saying something).
In fact, this young woman expresses very well how I and so many others are feeling.

I have lived this my whole life.
My dad lived this his whole life (and my mom by his side).
And now MY KIDS ARE STARTING TO LIVE IT!
 - I recently had to have "The Talk," in fact. You either know how this feels or you don't.
I am angry at myself for how long I've stuffed it all!
And I am angry at all those who have made me feel like I had to.

I am hurt. I am VERY hurt.
I am hurt by all the painful memories of my experiences with racism.
I am hurt by all the painful memories of my friends' experiences with racism.
I am hurt by all the times my other friends did nothing...or worse.
I am hurt by all my friends ("friends?") who are doing/saying nothing EVEN NOW!
And I am hurt by all my "friends" who apparently can only condemn riots.

PSA Time: 

“We must take sides. Neutrality helps the oppressor, never the victim. Silence encourages the tormentor, never the tormented. Sometimes we must interfere. When human lives are endangered, when human dignity is in jeopardy, national borders and sensitivities become irrelevant. Wherever men and women are persecuted because of their race, religion, or political views, that place must - at that moment - become the center of the universe.”
- Elie Wiesel

• If you think that just not being the guy who murdered someone is enough, you are wrong.
• If you think that all we need to do is pray, "make disciples," and get along, your understanding of God's heart and Jesus' time on Earth is woefully inadequate and shallow.
• If you just want to keep stating that not all cops are bad, don't bother: I agree. The thing is, we're not hating or trying to spread hate. (Some may be, but someone's ALWAYS doing that about something.) What we want is for people to understand how saying "not all cops are bad" is not just useless (because we're not stupid), but harmful because it comes across as not listening, which translates to not caring. Also, defending the police with "a few bad apples" while condemning an entire movement based on a handful of incidents of graffiti and vandalism is a gross and obvious double standard. Please watch this and dig deeper.
• If you only want to argue that all lives matter, please read this and dig deeper.
• If you or someone you love hasn't lived it and you are not even willing to TRY to understand, and/or if any of this offends you, you are part of the problem. Seek to understand respectfully or just be quiet.

And yes, I shall now even get political: Do you still support Trump even after how he has handled all of this?!

If you want to "disagree with me" on these things, I will not be discussing anything with you unless and until you have *at the very least* watched these two videos, in their entirety, actually paying attention (and I will test you):

• 13th (also available on Netflix)
• Full of Grace & Truth (if you call yourself a Christian, though it's good for everyone 😉)

I am still very much processing. I do not have all the answers. One thing I think I can say with confidence, though, is: We have had enough, and we are not going away.

This Is Me

I have decided that it is time (finally?) for me to take a note from the people I've seen talk about and act on removing toxicity from their lives.

First and foremost, I am a Christian (though not your stereotypical Christian). And I am tired of not being fully me because it might ruffle people's feathers. I am not talking about sin, and I am sick of people calling things sin that are not.

Being a Christian does not mean I don't care about things that happen to people in this life. After all, Jesus didn't feed roughly 15,000 people because they would become Christians. Knowing most of them would not, he fed them because they were hungry! Prayer is good; trying to help others come to Christ is great; but, if that's all you think we need to do, you need to dig deeper. In fact, being a true Christian means so much more. 

Even so, most of what I talk about, especially on social media, is fun and harmless. Sometimes, however, I do bring up serious stuff; and frankly, if you have a problem with the types of serious things I bring up, then "me thinks thou dost protest too much."

So, if you don't like me occasionally expressing my passion and opinions; or, if you will literally argue/debate in arrogant, condescending, and/or ugly ways every time, then go. You are free.

I will be fine.

We're Way Past Politics

This post is not about politics. If you really want to know my stance on politics (though why would you?), you can read about it here and here. This post is about what lies beneath. Maybe think of it as a cautionary tale.

Bob and Susie are friends.

Bob voted for President Jones, but Susie did not. No big deal.

Over time, President Jones repeatedly and clearly reveals himself to not be very smart. Bob still supports him. Though she feels badly about it, Susie starts to question Bob's intelligence; but eh, still no big deal.

Over time, President Jones also repeatedly and clearly reveals himself to be a man of incredibly low moral character. Bob still supports him. Still feeling at least a little badly, Susie starts to question Bob's morality...and this is a big deal.

Susie starts to ask herself questions like,

• "How can my friend Bob still support Jones?"
• "Does Bob not see (or not care!) about how Jones' words, actions, and presidency are affecting most people, especially people like me?"
• "What does Bob get (or hope to get) out of Jones being president (e.g., financially)?"
• "Is that more important to Bob than all the bad stuff (Mt 6:19-24)?!"
• "Do I really even know Bob, the real Bob??"
• "How is this going to affect our friendship?" ("Were we really ever even friends??")

Again, this is not about politics; this is about one person and those who still, somehow, support follow him. If this is you:

• the rest of us find it all but impossible to believe that you truly care about us, or our children;
• this and this pretty much sum up how just about the entire rest of the world sees you; and,
• if you call yourself a Christian, I plead with you to dig deeper, before it's too late. There is too much out there now from people you've called Brother or Sister to ignore; and, doing so could be deadly (John 9:41).

Surviving the Boundary Waters

I was 21 years old. Three of my closest friends and I decided to go on an impromptu ten-day camping trip in the Boundary Waters - a series of smallish lakes and islands between Minnesota and Canada. At least two of them were experienced outdoorsy guys, and one of them already had quite a plan put together. What could go wrong?

Heh, it occurred to me as I created that link above how helpful it would have been to be able to "Google" this place ahead of time back then. Ah well.

NOTE: Everything that follows is true, or at the very least, how I genuinely remember it.
____________________________________________________________________

So the morning comes, and we set out on our 6- or 7-hour drive. We have tents, sleeping bags, food, canteens, clothing, camp tools (e.g., fold-able poop hole shovel), and backpacks. The plan is to catch fish for our dinners, so the food we bring is either intended as a "side dish" or snacky stuff for during the day. We bring things like granola bars, cheese, salami...and potatoes. 80 pounds of potatoes. Because they are gonna be really good with all the seasonings and butter we also brought, served alongside all our yummy fish. But we'll get to that later.

We are set! We are excited! We are ready to go! As we get close, we come around a curve and have to brake quickly to avoid hitting a bear that's standing in the road. This is gonna be awesome!

We get there, and the way it works is, you park your car, check in, and begin your adventure. This is not a campground or anything like that; this is genuine, old-fashioned roughing it. You need to have thought of and brought whatever you may need, because there is nothing there once you go in but Nature. You get your canoe (one per two people), put your stuff in it, pick an island, and head out. When you get to the island, you take everything out of the canoe, put on your (heavy) backpack, pick the canoe up over your head, and portage up, down, and across the island. When you get to the other side of the island...rinse and repeat. You do this until you feel like it's time to pick an island to make camp for the night.

It is beautiful! Amazing! Peaceful! We see the Aurora borealis several nights, so close that it feels like we could touch it! It is even, some might say, genuinely life changing: it is immediately after this trip that I stop eating red meat (and this lasts a whole two years!); and, it is not much later that I become a Christian for real. Of course, all of this may have something to do with the fact that the four of us almost don't make it out of these beautiful, majestic Boundary Waters, but who can say for sure?

Remember how we had planned our ten-day trip around catching fish? In ten days, we catch...wait for it...three fish. Three. For ten days. For four young guys, who are canoeing and portaging all day, every day. Now, while they are the best tasting fish I have ever eaten in my entire life, before or since(!), they are, as you can imagine, not quite enough. By day three, we've caught one fish, so we are rather hungry. We start asking ourselves, what do we do? Do we turn around and go back? Remember, there is NOTHING out here (well, except for bears apparently); and at this point, it will already take us three more days just to get back.

Ha, nonsense! We decide instead to start rationing the snacks -- one slice of cheese, one slice of salami, and one granola bar apiece for lunch -- and keep going. There have to be more fish in all this beautiful, clean water! We just haven't found them yet. Besides, it's fun! At one point, Jim is walking just a bit behind me and I hear...something. I go back, and as I round the bend, I see Jim's canoe on the ground, with Jim inside it...upside-down, with his legs flailing in the air, laughing and calling for help. I should rush to his aid, but I just can't...because I too am on the ground, laughing way too hard to be at all useful. After finally getting myself together and everything (and everyone) right-side-up again, we continue.

A couple days later -- so day five or so -- we discover that we're almost out of granola bars. Somehow, we've gone through them a lot faster than we calculated we would. For a moment, we all get upset because someone must be eating more than his share! The next moment, however, we all realize (at about the same time I think) that none of us would do that. Then Mark, examining the box, realizes that the "serving size" is one bar, but they come two per package. So, as we've been eating a package apiece, we have gone through our granola bar supply twice as fast.

And we stink. Only Matt is brave enough to go into that freezing water to try to clean up a little. The rest of us just accept our natural stench and move on. We're way too hungry to care about such piddly things, anyway. Speaking of which, remember the 80 pounds of potatoes? Yeah, so, we've now been rowing and portaging with all our equipment, plus 80 pounds of potatoes, for five or six days. Why haven't we eaten them by now, you ask? Why, because we are SAVING THEM FOR WHEN WE CATCH FISH!!

By day seven, we are now on our way back, and we are famished. We are a little dazed, and everything is funny. We have eaten pretty much all the potatoes, partly because it was just time, but largely because the night before was our second and last time catching fish -- two split between the four of us. Someone -- Mark I think -- had brought some sort of astronaut rice with him. Unfortunately, even with all the seasonings and butter we brought, it is still so nasty that only one of us eats it. The good news, though, is that our rowing/portaging load is now a lot lighter, made so even more by the fact that we've all lost a good amount of weight.

Finally, we make it back. As we check out, we ask if there are any restaurants nearby. The lady helping us tells us -- I'm pretty sure with a slight smirk -- that there's a Pizza Hut down the road a bit. I think at least two of us are about to break into tears of joy right there. All four of us do start laughing, probably more than a little from delirium. At Pizza Hut, the waitress tells us we are far from the first to come in in our current state. We order:

• one large pizza, each;
• one salad bar, each;
• one pitcher of beer, each; and,
• one pitcher of soda (to share).

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Short of something like dementia, I will never forget this experience as long as I live. I loved it, every moment of it, even when I thought my best friends and I might just starve to death on some random little island in the middle of a bunch of lakes between two countries. I loved it so much, in fact, that I tried to get Mark, Jim, and Matt to do a "reunion" trip a couple years ago.

They said no.