The group has a certain mold, not because its the *right* mold (though those who fit the mold will argue this) but because it's the mold that has always worked for the majority...for those who don't rock the boat; for the decision makers, and for those who largely pay their salaries.
It is...truly heartbreaking...to realize you've been part of the group for decades and yet you still are still made to feel like you matter less than others. (In fact, it is eerily like realizing you are in a specific type of toxic/abusive relationship.)
With the latest reminder(s) of all this, I have finally figured some things out:
- When I was a "good boy," oh how they loved me. When I was an honest man, ...eh... not so much.
- I do not need to be part of the group.
- The group does not define me.
- The group is not my identity.
- I don't need the group's approval.
- There is something far more vast than the group's members, and that is where I must fix my focus!
- The group will be just fine without me.
- With friends who love God more than self and care enough about me to get TRULY uncomfortable, I will be fine without the group.
That is not how you should feel in a group. And if the group makes you feel guilty for having those feelings, even more “not good”. That is “cult” type of mentality that is subconsciously imbedded in the fabric of that group. There are many groups that represent our pursuits as humans. If they are trying to control you...and you realize it, time to think hard about what you’re doing.
ReplyDeleteAppreciate your bullet points.
Will pray for you my friend.
Thank you. :)
DeleteThat, including the video, makes me see things I haven’t seen before but it lines up with what I’ve been feeling.
Delete